I can rest in that.

Sometimes, I feel like my life is on hold and it is hard to continue to do the things I need to do. Sometimes, I wish there really was a fairy godmother who would swoosh down and make things right for me with her magic wand. Sometimes, I lack motivation and drive. Sometimes, I just don't care. Sometimes, I feel lost. Sometimes, I just need to rest. Sometimes, I just need to rest in Him.

BUT, there is someone who cares and someone who knows exactly what is going to happen next in my life. You see, I am in a situation that is hard to understand sometimes. I want this unemployment situation of my husband's to just be resolved already! I know that I should feel peace because I know that God already had this situation planned. I don't understand that, but I can rest in the truth that He does.

Psalm 33:11 says The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of His heart to all generations.

I know His plan is to mold me and to make me like Him. I am changing even when I feel like I am stuck. He is changing me and molding me into His image. His heart is great.

One of my favorite bible verses is this: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11.

I have this verse posted in several places in my home. It is a constant reminder to me that everything is in my loving God's hands. Even when I am stuck, not motivated, wallowing in pity and despair, when I just feel like giving up, I can trust in my Lord because He loves me and He holds the plans to my future. He loves me! I can rest in that.

No Whining

"Do everything without complaining or arguing,
so that you may become blameless and pure,
children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation,
in which you SHINE LIKE STARS in the universe
as you hold out the word of LIFE..."
Philippians 2:14-16

Dear Lord,

Help me to not be a whiner. No one likes a whiner. I want to be a winner! I want to shine like the stars! Help me to do everything without complaining or arguing so that I may be blameless and pure.

In Jesus name, AMEN

How about you? Are you guilty of being a whiner?

Pam

Love Anyway

I love my husband not because but "anyway." Read this article to see what I'm talking about. It's a good one.

http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/strengthening_your_marriage/love_for_the_long_haul/anyway_love.aspx

Ouch!

This article really hit home. How about you?

http://homeschoolingonjuniperhill.blogspot.com/ Read her February 24, 2010 entry.

It really is hard to find a balance between the things you like to do and the things you need to do, isn't it? How have you done it, or have you?

Pam

A favorite bible verse.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Deuteronomy 6:5-7 NIV

Well, this pretty much sums things up for Christians doesn't it? As a mother, this especially speaks to me and how I raise my daughter. I have to set an example but I am also given the task of impressing God's Word on my child. I am told to talk about Him all the time.

I do love God with all my heart and soul and He loves me back. This I know. For the bible tells me so! Amen! My family is reading through the bible this year and Robyn has joined in with us this year. She received a read through the bible from us for Christmas that will help her do that. We are all enjoying doing this together. We often talk about what we just read. We are also making a bigger effort to eat together, usually in our dining room, nightly. We really enjoy this family time around the table. It's a different atmosphere than sitting on the couch in front of the big black box and not speaking to one another while we eat. Afterward we read a family devotion together. I have a book just for this purpose. It allows for discussion of what we read and reminders of how to live our daily lives. By doing just these two things, I feel I am impressing upon my child's heart, the importance of her personal relationship with Jesus.

We attend church together and sit together as a family and worship our Lord side by side. I especially love this. This really feels like "family" to me. We go in different directions for Sunday school and on Wednesday nights, but Sunday's worship service is a time of family.

What do you do as a family or an individual to impress Jesus on your children? Please share.

Have a blessed day,

Pam

I Corinthians 13-A Christmas Version

1 CORINTHIANS 13 – – A CHRISTMAS VERSION -

By an unknown author

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love, I’m just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love, I’m just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir’s cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn’t envy anothers home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn’t yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love doesn’t give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can’t.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.

Crazy Love

Our church does Community Groups or some call them Small Groups. I still want to call them that. Any way, we are hosting one at our home on Monday evenings. We are doing the book, Crazy Love by Francis Chan. It is am awesome book and I highly recommend it. We also watch a few minutes of a DVD where he speaks to us. Here is a quote:

"I urge you to consider and actually live as though each person you come into contact with is Christ."

Crazy Love
by Francis Chan
w/ Danae Yankoski

Can you imagine doing that? I'm gonna try. And I'm gonna start with my family first!

Pam

I'm on a journey-come along!

You may have wondered about the name of my blog-Chaos Cottage. It comes from something I read on Flylady years ago. Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome. Yep, most the time that is the way I feel about my home. You know, please let us know days ahead of time if you are coming for a visit. Arghh...

I struggle with homemaking. I know, I probably shouldn't. I am a stay-at-home mom with 1 daughter who attends a Christian school. My husband is unemployed at the moment and is able to run many errands and take dd to and from school. I have the time and the ability to take extra special care of my family and my home. Excuses? I haven't any, really. Oh, sometimes I think I have the excuses of "I don't feel so well", or "I didn't sleep well", or "my back hurts", and my favorite, "I need a nap." These can all be true some days, but honestly, I have no good excuses most days.

Oh, I have really good intentions. I make plans. I am the queen of list making. It's something I find very relaxing. I always get my menu planning done on Sunday. I look forward to it really. Maybe it is because I love to eat. I don't know. I love looking at other ladies blogs and seeing how much they are accomplishing in their homes and reading their daily schedules. I ooh and aah over their accomplishments. I must admit I do get a little envious sometimes. Then I look at my home and I am sad. Having a list does help me some. But you have to look at it.

I think I know the real reason I always fall short. It is sin in my heart. Yep, I think it is selfishness and rebellion. I do what I WANT to do and housework ain't one of them. Sounds childish, doesn't it?

I am childish, but I am also a child of God. And as a child of God I am very blessed. I don't deserve all the things that the Lord has blessed me with, but He has blessed me just the same. So, I think it is time for confession for sure. But also doing a 180 and making the needed changes in my life to do the job the Lord has asked me to do. Be a wife and a mother. Count it all JOY. Do my work pleasingly as unto the Lord.

So, I'm going on a journey. I want to please the Lord and my family and give them the home they deserve. I hope that you'll stay with me on this journey. And I do ask for your prayers in this area my friends. It means so much to me to know that I have your support! I may even post a before and after photo here and there. That is, if I am not too ashamed to show you the before. Oy!

A Prayer for Women

A Prayer for Women by Pastor John Piper

My earnest challenge and prayer for you is . . .

. . . That all of your life—in whatever calling—be devoted to the glory of God.

. . . That the promises of Christ be trusted so fully that peace and joy and strength fill your soul to overflowing.

. . . That this fullness of God overflow in daily acts of love so that people might see your good deeds and give glory to your Father in Heaven.

. . . That you be women of the Book, who love and study and obey the Bible in every area of its teaching; that meditation on biblical truth be the source of hope and faith; that you continue to grow in understanding through all the chapters of your life, never thinking that study and growth are only for others.

. . . That you be women of prayer, so that the Word of God will be opened to you, and so the power of faith and holiness will descend upon you; that your spiritual influence may increase at home and at church and in the world.

. . . That you be women who have a deep grasp of the sovereign grace of God which undergirds all these spiritual processes; and that you be deep thinkers about the doctrines of grace, and even deeper lovers of these things.

. . . That you be totally committed to ministry, whatever your specific calling; that you not fritter away your time on soaps or women’s magazines or unimportant hobbies or shopping; that you redeem the time for Christ and his Kingdom.

. . . That, if you are single, you exploit your singleness to the full in devotion to God (the way Jesus and Paul and Mary Slessor and Amy Carmichael did) and not be paralyzed by the desire to be married.

. . . That, if you are married, you creatively and intelligently and sincerely support the leadership of your husband as deeply as obedience to Christ will allow; that you encourage him in his God-appointed role as head; that you influence him spiritually primarily through your fearless tranquility and holiness and prayer.

. . . That, if you have children, you accept responsibility with your husband (or alone if necessary) to raise up children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord—children who hope in the triumph of God—sharing with your husband the teaching and discipline they need, and giving them the special attention they crave from you, as well as that special nurturing touch and care that you alone are fitted to give.

. . . That you not assume that secular employment is a greater challenge or a better use of your life than the countless opportunities of service and witness in the home, the neighborhood, the community, the church, and the world; that you not only pose the question: career or full-time homemaker?, but that you ask just as seriously: full-time career or freedom for ministry? That you ask: Which would be greater for the Kingdom—to work for someone who tells you what to do to make his or her business prosper, or to be God’s free agent dreaming your own dream about how your time and your home and your creativity could make God’s business prosper? And that in all this you make your choices not on the basis of secular trends or upward lifestyle expectations, but on the basis of what will strengthen the faith of the family and advance the cause of Christ.

. . . That you step back and (with your husband, if you are married) plan the various forms of your life’s ministry in chapters. Chapters are divided by various things—age, strength, singleness, marriage, employment, children at home, children in college, grandchildren, retirement, etc. No chapter has all the joys. Finite life is a series of tradeoffs. Finding God’s will, and living for the glory of Christ to the full in every chapter is what makes it a success, not whether it reads like somebody else’s chapter or whether it has in it what only another chapter will bring.

. . . That you develop a wartime mentality and lifestyle; that you never forget that life is short, that billions of people hang in the balance of heaven and hell every day, that the love of money is spiritual suicide, that the goals of upward mobility (nicer clothes, cars, houses, vacations, food, hobbies) are a poor and dangerous substitute for the goals of living for Christ with all your might and maximizing your joy in ministry to people’s needs.

. . . That in all your relationships with men (not just in marriage) you seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit in applying the biblical vision of manhood and womanhood; that you develop a style and demeanor that does justice to the unique role God has given to man to feel responsible for gracious leadership in relation to women—a leadership which involves elements of protection and provision and a pattern of initiative; that you think creatively and with cultural sensitivity (just as he must do) in shaping the style and setting the tone of your interaction with men.

. . . That you see the biblical guidelines for what is appropriate and inappropriate for men and women not as arbitrary constraints on freedom, but as wise and gracious prescriptions for how to discover the true freedom of God’s ideal of complementarity; that you not measure your potential by the few roles withheld, but by the countless roles offered; that you look to the loving God of Scripture and dream about the possibilities of your service to him.

Excerpted from Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism by Pastor John Piper. (Crossway Books.

I heard this song last night by our Praise Team at Fireproof Your Marriage. I highly recommend you listen to it and also to read the lyrics. Very moving.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGHILmOHptY&feature=player_embedded

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

Oh wow, she took the words right out of my mouth!

Honest and for true, I could have written the following:

I can be joyful but I can also be a kvetch!

How's that for an honest blog post title? If you are not familiar with the Yiddish term kvetch, here it is. Being joyful is a choice in attitude. Being joyful is something you choose to walk out - when times are good and when they suck.

However if I want to be completely transparent and honest, sometimes I choose to be a total kvetch. I choose to act badly toward my husband and kids. You know how it is....chronic sleep deprivation, feeling unwell, a perpetually messy house that no one seems to want to help me clean.

You know, I am so serious about owning my kvetchiness (did I just make up a new word again?) that I registered a new domain name: www.kvetchingchristianwife.com. Yup, I sure did. No, I am not creating a new blog - it will just redirect here. You see I can be both joyful AND a kvetch. I am kind of complicated (and highly flawed) like that.

Sometimes it is hard to choose the right attitude in marriage. I even struggle with it sometimes when things are rosy and running smoothly. Sometimes it is hard to choose a joyful attitude as a parent....you know when you are cleaning up vomit at 3 am off the carpet. Or maybe it's after listening to them whine continuously for four hours straight. Or maybe the kids haven't really done anything wrong per se, but you are just cranky.

Hello?

Don't get me wrong. I STRIVE to be joyful in attitude. My heart is to be in that space all the time. But that is not my reality. Is anyone else feeling me on this? I just had a conversation last week with GodTalk host Greg Glatz and we were talking about what integrity means to us. We both had very similar definitions. Integrity isn't about having it all together - or even presenting ourselves as if we do - because then their is incongruence which is the opposite of integrity.

Integrity to me is being really honest about all parts of who I am. The things I do well with AND the things I fail miserably at. There is something freeing to both myself and hopefully other people when they can see other people being honest about their shortcomings. "*Phew* she isn't perfect." In fact if you are looking for a book that talks about how important transparency is, I recommend Quinn's "Building the Bridge as you Walk on It". Great book - convicting and empowering.

I digress...sorry for the rabbit trail.

This post brings me to some recent and sad news that perhaps comes as no surprise. That is the demise of Jon and Kate Gosselin's marriage. We all know divorce stinks. I was married at 21 and went through the humiliation of my first husband's adultery and divorce followed. I am also a child of divorce so I know it stinks from every angle. I have read with keen interest the variety of posts and comments about the news that broke last night.

Some people were highly compassionate and merciful in their responses. Others were not. Listen, the divorce rate is about 50% and sadly it is NO different when it comes to Christian marriage. So out of the persons responding judgmentally and scornfully about Jon and Kate's behavior toward one another over the past seasons I am left wondering. How many of those people are having similar issues in their marriages? I would hazard a guess and say a lot.

I would hate to see how I would come across on television. 'Reality TV is NOT reality' as one smart cookie said on Facebook. It is edited for entertainment. Drama and controversy are entertaining. So what we have seen of this couple and of this family is not balanced, right? I have three kids and I can get pretty cranky. Sometimes, I don't act respectful to my husband. I would love to say that I always INTEND to act respectful toward him but, alas, that would be a big fat lie.

Sometimes he ticks me off. Sometimes my 'flesh' gets in the way and I don't FEEL like turning the other cheek and being joyful, okay?

Sometimes I am a big jerk on purpose.

Sometimes I feel like I am standing outside myself watching me act like a big jerk yet I can't seem to stop it. I see myself, at times, being disrespectful to my husband, or barking orders at my kids, yet I can't (or won't?) stop.

Back to Jon and Kate. I believe their intentions starting out were good. I believe, like every couple, that they felt like they would beat the divorce statistics. Apparently, the divorce rate for parents of multiples is three times higher. I don't think they looked into one another's eyes at the altar, standing before God, and said "Honey, one day I am going to treat you like total crap and quit our marriage." Come on, seriously.

I am not making any excuses for their behavior. The cameras have clearly captured some poor choices and poor behaviors. But hey, if I was on camera and under public scrutiny I wonder how much better I would look? I think some other people should seriously consider the same question. It's so easy to knock down and criticize other people but lets take an honest look. Statistics was never my strong suit in university. However even *I* can quickly calculate that at least a fair number of individuals throwing stones at Jon and Kate also live in a glass house. And, yes, if you have read my blog before you KNOW I point the finger right back at myself.

So this is me being honest. I am a Christian wife. Sometimes I am joyful. Sometimes I am a complete kvetch. On purpose. So seeing that I am such a highly flawed creature, albeit with the best of intentions, I will extend mercy and withhold judgment on their hearts and intentions and instead I will keep them in prayer. May wisdom and peace prevail.

As I have mentioned in past posts, I NEED mercy big time...and well, you reap what you sow.

Just Keeping it Real,

This came from the blog http://www.blogcatalog.com/blog/the-joyful-christian-wife

I wish I had the talent to put into words about how I feel about things. I am not a good writer. But I feel this woman really hit the nail on the head. I feel the same way.

How about you?

Found this article here: http://myhighercalling.blogspot.com/ It really hit home for me. Thought I would reprint it here for my married girlfriends!

Words of Praise
I talk to so many wives who are discouraged about their marriage and their relationship with their husband. It really breaks my heart to see so many marriages that are not experiencing the blessing that the Lord intended marriage to be.

One of the easiest (and most often overlooked) ways that a wife can improve her marriage is to just simply praise her husband. You need to tell your husband every day how much you love, respect and appreciate him.

As much as we ladies love to talk and give complements, I wonder why, when it comes to our husbands, the words that are normally directed at them are complaints and nagging? Do you like to be around someone who is always critisizing you and nagging you about everything under the sun? No, you don't and your husband doesn't either.

Ladies, we cannot underestimate the power of our tongue. We can use our words to either tear down our husband or to build him up. Which one do you think will improve your marriage?

Never, ever, ever pass up the opportunity to praise your husband to his face AND behind his back *smile*. Yes, I know some of you are thinking that there isn't anything you can praise your husband for... but if you think about it, I am sure there is... after all, he must have been pretty smart to choose YOU for his wife *smile*.

Does your husband go to work to provide for the family? Tell him how blessed you are that he is such a wonderful provider!
Does your husband save you the last of the dark chocolate because he knows that it's your favorite? Tell him how thoughtful he is!
Does your husband keep your car maintained? Tell him how loved you feel that he is looking our for your safety!
Does your husband invite you to go Lowes with him? Tell him "Yes" and that you appreciate that he wants to spend time with you!

These are just a few examples, but if you look for opportunities each day to praise your husband, you will see them (sometimes you just need to train yourself to look for them).

After a bit of practice, praising your husband will just come naturally, and you will find yourself more in love with him than ever... and it will be because you have opened your eyes to his good qualities that were there all the time!

Have a blessed day,
Dana

Thank you Dana for this message.

Very true!